Nightjar

by Marty Willson-Piper

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1.
05:37
The pale sun leaves weaker shadows As daylight wanes and gives in to the dark (dark dark dark) People hurry into buildings for secret meetings As the gates close in the park (park park park) Behind the curtains silhouettes are disembodied Dancing in the frame (frame frame frame) And with all the conversations over The quiet freezes like they never came (came came came) Pull me up from deep inside this pillow Feathers soft I lay my head in sorrow There’s caverns dark and then there’s eyes that stare And I hear fingers snapping but there’s no one there Once upon a time with all the world before me I moved toward the sun (sun sun sun) But all that brightness, left me sightless Made it hard to see where I had gone (gone gone gone) And finally the simple questions Turned into the ones you shouldn’t ask (ask ask ask) And still the sharks have fools believing As all forget the troubles in the past (past past past) But fear is just an ugly face, who cannot Win…unless you choose surrendering Your value drops if you let go You must hold on The game is short but the lie is long Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Pull me up from deep inside this pillow Feathers soft I lay my head in sorrow There’s caverns dark and then there’s eyes that stare And I hear fingers snapping but there’s no one there
2.
04:46
I heard a rumour God was coming back I said I didn’t know he’d been Then I was cursed, unloved for what I lacked Faith in something I’d not felt or seen Even the angels enjoy a good cigar, they say Tone deaf drunks sing sweet songs Parades of people marching for what they are Convinced that there’s a right and wrong Boasting of knowledge for all Seems though we’re crouched at the wall I suppose we’re clever we build and we create But we’re a badly designed machine Uncontrolled and trusting as a snake Yet loving kind and serene There’s something I noticed in every walk of life That people share no policy Distinguished peasants and lovable rogues We all beg to disagree I don’t feel safe in my heart Where is the end or the start Desperation, it poked me with its stick Inspiration threw a feast of thoughts Desecration the world has just been sick Delegations kiss long before they talk Chemical seems more complex Teachings show me more is less
3.
Lullaby for the lonely Luck is a myth You reach the abyss And you somersault to your death You die in style Deep in denial Broken at the foot of the cliff Wishing that you’d hid yourself away Expectations rise and fall away You’re driving blind The road is mined How many times can you lose You can’t see the sun You can’t get things done So you bury yourself in the blues Suddenly you find you’re standing still You shiver but you can’t shrug off the chill Lullaby for the lonely There’s blood in your tears A buzz in your ears And all your faith is scattered over the floor You pick up the pieces And your golden fleeces They don’t seem to exist anymore You thought that you could manifest your dreams And then you find you’re on the losing team Lullaby for the lonely (Can’t you feel yourself falling apart)
4.
06:16
The daylight won’t bother me As I sink to the floor The silence won’t smother me As I break my own law… And the hero’s in ecstasy As he waves to the crowd But the hero’s the enemy As the truth is devoured And underneath We all know it And I sit And watch it happen All this power and corruption All these politics, lies and greed And maybe, just maybe if I kill them We can all be freed I walk into the kitchen I stand there at the sink I gaze out of the window And really start to think And underneath We all know it And I sit And let it happen I’ve waved goodbye to the rational With this democratic choice For tonight I’m going national With my only real voice And this one’s for the nurses And the soldiers and the rest And corporate pollution And all that I detest And this one’s for the pleasure Of disfiguring your face And thanking you for making me This justified disgrace I used to sit And watch it happen But I just can’t Let it happen
5.
In smoky museums of relics and strangers Experts in brandy and rye With unequalled wisdom of players and score lines Statistics to dazzle the blind Exchanging glances with the Germans and the Spanish That slip in and out of your life Throwing down their rucksacks on the sawdust floorboards As they settle on a bottle of wine At the end of the night We all speak the same language As you fall off your stool one more time Then we all fall in love as we wave our farewells Goodnight, goodnight And they’re never seen again For the tourists they are They never come back to frequent your little bar And you can’t deny You gotta feed your mind So you wake up that morning with a headache from Arabia Handed down by Bedouins and slaves And you look into the mirror and you wonder at the cost And how much of the future you can save With your friends all gone to India And you’re losing on the lottery If they buy a Bombay Gin for you Can you contemplate sobriety Tonight, tonight And your bookshelf’s looking sparse And the television blares And they’re travelling to Mars now as you fall off your chair Don’t you wanna try? You gotta feed your mind Then you’re sitting on the boulevard with a girl from Argentina Reading Le Monde in record time And you can’t decide which entrée As you peruse the menu So you settle on the avocado lime Then you’re sitting in your sportscar With your number plates from Monaco And you’re headed down the coast to catch a flight And you wake up in the hospital With your face unrecognisable And the nurse just comes and switches off the light She switches off the light The light And nobody remembers who is missing from the corner But if I were you I’d listen when the light comes on to warn you You better have a life You gotta feed your mind
6.
All this aching pain Is it all in vein You said the coldness came Down below And your perfect shield And the words you wield From your empty field Where nothing grows All of these visions that go through your head For all of their beauty they’ll wind you up dead That’s why you’ll find me high You’ll find me high You’ll find me high down below You’ll find me high Take the veil away On your knees and pray You’re in disarray The future’s closed So if you’re feeling numb And if you do your sums You’ll see the past has come And you’re exposed I tried to write a melody that you’d recognize Just to draw attention to and open up your eyes
7.
Greenest eyes overbite Skin like light what a sight When I first saw you Standing there unaware Your neck bare yellow hair I already adore you Fingers long that linger on Singer sings a song so long Especially for you I wonder if you’ll hear the riff The lift, the voices drift All over you I must’ve fallen in love with you Your mouth that moves and soothes And chooses words and coos I just wanna talk to you If I’m awake for heaven’s sake Let’s not make mistakes I don’t wanna hide from you So come to me this plea From me to you to see If you’ll let me inside of you You’re a dream it seems Soft serene velveteen I just wanna sleep with you I must’ve fallen in love with you (I really wanna see you)
8.
I take my place in line to be alone There are millions in front of me I know But every single action Of the ultimate attraction You can pretty much depend on going cold Write a letter sprinkle it with stars Enthusiastic lovers don’t go far They fall and you can’t catch them At least though you can match them Everything’s worth less when its been sold And if you recognise the cadence of a tune And the perfume of your lover makes you swoon And suddenly you’re spinning in the room And you wake up on the sofa feeling sad As you think of all the love you never had If you ever want to fall in love again You know it isn’t if it’s only when On an unsuspecting corner With nobody to warn you And you know it fails 12 times out of 10 And wounded once again you struggle home But somehow you just know you’ll be alone So welcome to the war that never ends Confusion is the message that it sends If you sacrifice your lovers or your friends And you really start to think you’re going mad As you think of all the love you never had And you really start to think you’re going mad As you think of all the love you never had
9.
If these walls could speak Of the things that you done Behind metal doors The beast you’ve become With your pliers and chains And a gun in your hand But I’d rather die Than to kneel in the sand Hear my song, sing along Hear my song History Will condemn you I know For my blood is wine Though my agony’s slow Every scar That you tear in my face Is a river of life For the whole human race Hear my song, sing along Hear my song Hail the light Hail the kiss of your fist I am laughing/crying out loud As you’re breaking my wrist You will live in fear Because there’s thousands like me Dare you see me die With my dignity Hear my song, sing along Hear my song, sing along Hear my song
10.
Tired and worthless Maudlin and mirthless Losing heart in all things Loveless and broken Darkness awoken I’m a bird without any wings Something inside me That’s been denied me I can’t feel the blood in my veins The night’s getting longer And the pain’s getting stronger And I can’t escape from these chains When I first saw you it was afternoon The sun picked you out like a jewel And suddenly I lost my confidence And it gave me the face of a fool I paced and I pondered till finally I decided that I couldn’t play It’s a game for losers of which I am one And that game I win everyday Alone in a café Sad and unhappy Crippled by what went before Just loss and destruction Emotion’s corruption All reason has flown out the door Smoking and drinking Negative thinking Bearing a wound that won’t heal I’m the Devil’s apprentice Doing this sentence With a pain that I can’t even feel I blew out the candle as the morning came And I wiped the tears from my eyes But I kept on lying there into the day My heart way too heavy to rise Suddenly the night returned And the blackness came into my room It’s a game for losers where the crowd has left me Lonely, disheartened, marooned

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released June 9, 2008

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Marty Willson-Piper Penzance, UK

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